Friday, July 2, 2010

Rianne is Home!



Rianne is home! She and her parents rolled in towing the 5th wheel last evening around 8:00. It’s great to have her here and out of the hospital. She sure had a difficult 5 days up in Coos Bay – mostly because she is so active and was going stir-crazy lying in the hospital bed. While she was there her parents had to “suit up” in germ resistant coverings to prevent the spread of potential infection to her.
On Wednesday she called to tell me that she had to stay for another day. It crushed her and she was crying on the phone. I reminded her that it was for the best and that she’d have around the clock care until her condition improved. She had her digital camera with her and, after she hung up the phone, she took a few photos of herself. One of the tearful photos is posted tonight. She said she is grateful that Becky and Katie were able to listen to her and console her when she called them. Calls to Briana, Crystal and Edrie also helped her get through those difficult moments.
The tears in her eyes tell it all – everything from first learning that she has cancer to….. all of the tests and needles in her arms to…. the miserable rides to and from Coos Bay to…..hours sitting and receiving chemo infusions to….the unbearable headaches and nausea to…..the exhausting blood transfusions to……being away from her husband, home and pets to…..expecting to go home and having to stay another day. Rianne has been through more pain, suffering and heartache in 3 months than most of us endure in a lifetime. She’s bound to have some emotional moments, and that’s exactly what happened when our conversation ended.
Her parents were her guardian angels while she was hospitalized. They were the only people allowed to see her in the sealed room, with the exception of a visit by Brianna Hale, who was smuggled in. Don and Lillian also kept me informed of what was about to happen and when. They gave her a great gag gift – a baby-sized comb and brush for Rianne’s hair, which she currently has none of! They laughed and boosted her spirits, but the best gifts were the 4 rolls of REAL toilet paper. Rianne says, “Hospital TP is like sandpaper and it rubs me raw!”
Now she’s home and her spirits are improving. But they weren’t so bright when she first arrived. The length of the hospitalization exhausted her. We’ll be honest here – she mentioned that she wanted to stop doing chemo and didn’t want to go through with the radiation. She said she is through and that she can’t take it anymore. She is worn out from the awful feeling of having a sick body and seeing needles stabbed into her arms and into her Port. She is scheduled for more tests next week and a colonoscopy the following week. She is worried sick about the possibility of having more cancer in her body.
She asked me if I was going to make her continue with the treatment. I told her that I wouldn’t make her do it but would instead convince her to continue. It was a gentler way of saying “HECK YES YOU’RE GOING TO CONTINUE WITH IT!” I love her too much to allow her to stop now after coming this far. Her chemo infusions are past the halfway mark. The tumor should be shrinking and her future will be bright. She will again become that strong, vibrant Rianne that we all know and love!
This evening her spirits are finally improving. She again has that smile on her face, but I’m concerned about what she was feeling last night and most of today. Her thoughts are understandable but they do concern me. I don’t want her to give up on the fight!! If you too feel that she should continue with the scheduled chemotherapy, radiation and tests, please post a comment for her to read. She could really use the strength of your words right now!!!

12 comments:

  1. We will NOT let you give up!! Cancer is a horrible thing, but it will not take one of the strongest, kindness, loving, beautiful, loveable person ever. You will beat this Rianne. You have a great support system. We are all here for you every step of the way. Love you.

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  2. you are an amazing example of strength and courage. Let that continue as you beat the cancer. I love you!

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  3. Stick with it!!!!! This world is a better place with you in it and your fight is an inspiration. Of course it's hard. You're battling a fierce evil maniac. Beat him!!! It's worth it. Just think of your adorable grandkids. They need to learn all about boogers and farts and burps from someone, don't they?! (Not to mention all those other life lessons: overcoming, laughing at and taunting trials, faith, exuberance for life, and on and on.) It sucks. Sure. But it's worth it!!!! Go get 'em!

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  4. Oh, and I just thought of another thing--if you read my post and thought, "but that's not me anymore," then I say BS! No matter what crap your body has to go through, your spirit is yours and it will always be yours and it will not wilt away no matter how much misery and torture your body has to go through. You may not feel like yourself now, but you're still there, biding your time, just waiting until your body is strong enough to shine again, because the real you that we all love and are praying for is still in you.

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  5. I found this today, and IMMEDIATELY thought of you! ;)



    One of the critical skills for ongoing success is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Sooner or later in life everyone experiences failure, disappointment, setbacks, or the desire to keep on keeping on.

    Over the years I have had my share of failures as well as successes. Failing doesn't make you a failure. Achieving a success doesn't make you a success. Many people have hit bottom, only to climb out and achieve greatness, and many people have done great things only to end up broke, alone and without any lasting feeling of accomplishment.

    Success and failure are neutral concepts. What makes either of them positive or negative in life is not the event, circumstance or situation but what is done with them along the path of life. No one that I have ever met has had a life filled with nothing but failure or success. Resilience is the ability to keep coming back, again and again and again. No matter how many times life throws you a curve or brings you to your knees, you try again - you try something new, something different, or something old in a new way. You refuse to give in or up. Here are a few ideas to consider when you feel like quitting:

    1. It is temporary.

    2. You need it to learn a valuable lesson.

    3. You need to be softened by life.

    4. You need to give your life more integrity or character.

    5. You need to learn to be an example for others.

    6. You need to rid yourself of some arrogance or ignorance.

    7. You need to grow in some area of your life.

    8. You need to learn to laugh at yourself.

    9. You need to learn to live in the present moment.

    10. You need to learn to take life less seriously.

    I am a testimony to resilience. If I can accomplish what I have in my career having been brought to my knees again and again with failure, disappointment, and more problems than any one person should have - then you too - regardless of your current station in life or circumstances - can rise again. All you have to do is reach inside and find the courage, strength, stamina, attitudes, self-belief, and self-confidence and rekindle your desire for what you believe you can do and will do.

    Hang on to your dream, no matter how big it might seem to you. And don't let others convince you that you can't do it, won't do it or shouldn't do it. Be true to yourself and your destiny. You have everything you need, right now, inside of you, to carry on. All you have to do is do it.

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  6. Thank you for all of your comments - we appreciate them all! Your support is very encouraging!

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  7. Michaela said it perfectly! Rianne you are such a wonderful person - we know you can beat this crap and come back for Poop Fridays!!!! We love you and miss you so much! Stay strong my friend!!!

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  8. Rianne~ My lovely Vampire Potato Head! You are such an amazing, caring, wonderful, selfless person. DON'T GIVE UP you have to much to live for. Your husband, kids, grandchildren, but most of all YOURSELF! Okay and for me too! :o) We want you to come back for Poop Friday's and we want to go with you on our first Quad ride, the boys want you to come to football games, graduations, etc,. There are so many things you have to give to others that they aren't about ready to let go of. I KNOW I AM NOT READY TO LET GO...... I need you!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!! Let GOD and the DOCTORS take care of YOU... Let the medicine heal you take it in one day at a time let it do its work.....Again, this too shall pass! I love you my sister friend forever!

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  9. it was so good to see you guys!! rianne's spirits did seem better too! I understand she has to vent and sometimes she will hit bottom....but no matter what i will never let her stop trying either. i can't be with out my bestest friend and other mother. she is my little cuppy cake. :) I will be here for you always n forever you guys. Love you so so so so so so very much!

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  10. We love you Rianne and do not want you to lose focus of the ultimate goal which is to spend time with us sometime within this next year. We want you to regain your health so that when we come to visit you'll be able to share your humor and laughter with Spencer. He deserves to know you for the wonderful, fun loving person you are. He needs a Big Rianne in his life. We love you and constantly think and pray for you. Lots and lots of love! Ryanne and Casey

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  11. Auntie Rianne!! Please continue to stay focused on your healing and the bright future ahead. I cant begin to imagine what you are experiencing in this, I can tell you that this may be your biggest test God has for you to endure, this will only enhance your compassion and tender heart for our brothers and sisters. You must keep a part of your heart filled with hope and faith. You are a shining star to so many lives. Once this is in remission you will begin to see that all your sacrifice has been for the best. I know I don't know you all too well but I Love you and when we have children of our own I want them to know their Great Auntie Rianne. Andrew and I look forward to seeing you this Christmas. XOXO

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